She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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