he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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