I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
