i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
