no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
