Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
