just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize