Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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