it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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