i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
