I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
