I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
