so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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