Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
