we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The beer is more important than you right now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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