flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
