so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude. I can hear the air.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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