i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
