apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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