I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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