Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize