So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
