Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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