What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My life is pants optional.
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