I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize