my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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