one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
