dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
