Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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