At least make sure they are 18
Why
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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