Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
