i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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