So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
