The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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