piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
