best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
