So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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