i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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