Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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