Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
