I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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