Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
