Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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