Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize