This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
