Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize