What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
