My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
