dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
