Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
