ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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