u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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