i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
