The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
