...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
