I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
